CIB (Cait in Botswana)

With 14 days left in Botswana I feel like I should have something poignant to say.  I don't.  I am still in a numb sort of shock that I am sure will wear off at any moment and panic will hit me full force.  I have begun to acknowledge that time is rapidly winding down - my bedroom is a disaster zone of things being sorted, packed and/or given away.

Emotionally, I'm a little overwhelmed.  I thought preparing to leave the United States to BEGIN my Peace Corps Service was tough...but this is a whole different kind of tough.  It is realizing that despite the ups and the downs THIS has been my life for the past two years.  Hard as it may be to envision, I have lived a very real life here.  I have learned more here in the last two years than I have learned in a long time.

I am ready to be back in America, I am ready to be home.  I am ready to be in a country where I generally understand the cultural norms, where a phone call to my family is not a huge ordeal.

On the flip side, I'm not ready to say good-bye, to not be able to look at the wide Botswana sky, to not have this quiet house to myself.  I am not ready for my last Teen Club which is this Saturday or my goodbye party where I will officially say goodbye to all those I have worked with these last two years. 

Ready or not, however, it is time to go home. It is time for the next steps in my journey.   Today is my last "official" day in my office.  Tomorrow is my goodbye party and my last Teen Club.  Next week I will just be at home packing and preparing to leave.  Will try to give one last update or two before I go.

Until then I leave you with the words that have been the most inspirational to me lately, "Never compromise on a dream. Compromise on how it will come true."

Tsala Sentle.

Today is April 15th - Happy Tax Day! While I'm sure few are feeling excited this wonderful day - on this side of the hemisphere a different kind of excitement is definitely brewing. In 43 days I will begin flying home, to the other land that I love, America. Less than 6 weeks and I will be back in the U.S. of A.! Whoa!

Life has really been about wrapping up and beginning to move forward for the past few weeks. Mid-March the entire Bots 7 group gathered for one last time for our Close of Service (COS) Conference. It was very much a surreal experience to realize that this was the beginning of the end! I have also been busy wrapping up projects and trying to pass off continuing projects to community members.

On Monday I went down to Gaborone for my second time to experience one of my favorite things here - greeting the new volunteers! Yup, the Bots 9 group arrived in country on Monday! Amidst the excitement I had a few moments to ponder the fact that this was me --- TWO years ago. I still remember the feelings of anxiety, excitement, exhaustion and chaos as I entered into a country that was so foreign to me.

Two years later I won't say that I have it all down - I certainly don't, but I have come a long way. My Setswana is not perfect but I can communicate fairly well and I can understand others even better. In two years I have made new friends, gained lots of new experiences, been on many a cramped bus, eaten many a strange thing and laughed many a times.

I keep looking around my house knowing full well that the time to pack is rapidly approaching. I have been trying sort stuff out little by little, but so far have been unable to make the commitment to actually start putting things in suitcases.

I will say, for now, my focus is on leaving here - not so much getting there. I'm trying to prepare myself for the tears, the sadness and the evitable joy that comes with finishing such a journey.

During our COS conference we all took turns drawing and answering questions that we might get from people back home once we return. My question was perfect. "So, what was it really like?"

My answer? "It was all at once some of the best experiences of my entire life and some of the worst. I had some of my happiest moments and some of my saddest. But, given the chance, I would do it all over again."

It’s the middle of February. While many of my friends and family are seeing tons of snow – here in Mahalapye, Botswana its hot as…well you can fill in the blanks. Yesterday the rumor was that it reached 38C, that’s 100F…with a sun that literally makes you feel like you are living in an oven. I came home and the heat inside my house was so overwhelming I went and stood back outside.

Beyond the heat though, February is definitely a month of transition. For months, many of the Peace Corps Volunteers have been counting down…but now the number is something very tangible, very real. Next month we will have our Close of Service (COS) conference. It’s the last time that all of us (minus the 13 who’ve left along the way) will be together before we leave Botswana and head off to the next chapter of our lives. After COS we are on lockdown again, not supposed to leave our sites until we leave country so that we say “good-bye” in our communities properly.

Wait, I’m supposed to say good-bye?! Part of me is so excited that my Peace Corps service is coming to an end. These 2 years have been long and hard…and awesome. I’ve had some of the best (and worst) moments in life here.

The kid pushing a wheelbarrow with 3 toddlers in it yelling at me and trying to catch up with me as I walked home…little Dudu as she puts her face against the burglar bars on my door with big puppy dog eyes and asks for a cookie…the teens at my teen club as they tell their stories or share a laugh…laying on the bed in my room wearing a wet t-shirt with the fan blowing on me and still sweating…hearing stories about why I shouldn’t play with the wild chameleon I found outside…the stars in the sky…welcoming the new volunteers as they arrived in country…saying goodbyes to the ones who have left…and that doesn’t even begin to cover it…

I’m not sure what’s next…but I think I will figure it out. For now, I am preparing to say good bye, but not before I get a few more projects finished up.

At the end of the month our Teen Club is going to Mokolodi Nature Reserve for a weekend trip! The planning has been crazy intense, but I think it’s going to be a ton of fun! We will be doing leadership activities, health sessions and, of course, a game drive. Hopefully the weather won’t be too tortuous…ha.

Still trying to finish up some work with an NGO in a neighboring village – gotta love those projects that end up being a much bigger undertaking than you anticipated.

So, for now, that February and that’s life. We’re allowed to begin leaving country May 18th…still haven’t picked the date I will leave yet – but I know the time to make that choice is rapidly approaching. Until then I will keep living

the Peace Corps life.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

Today I came home and decided to clean my house.  Between just coming in last weekend and planning on being gone this weekend I figured now was as good as time as any.  I got to the bathroom, squeezed the Handy Andy into the sink and the bathtub and armed myself with a giant sponge.  As I scrubbed the sink I turned on the faucet and felt a little zap.  Thinking I was just a little crazy I tried again, zap.  Bathtub? Zap.  Ok, that’s not normal.  Went to talk to my landlady, apparently she was having the same problem.  Electrician comes in the morning.  Meanwhile I’m using a potholder to do any mandatory tap turning.

Funny thing.  This is not the first time I’ve had this happen.  I can think of at least 3 other residences I have been in where I’ve had this happen to me.  Shocking.

Yesterday I was walking from the office to meet another Peace Corps Volunteer in town for lunch.  Up ahead of me is a man walking with a large object on his shoulder. As I focused in on the object I realized what it was.  A cow leg.  A skinned, rather mangled looking, cow leg.  The funniest part?  I didn’t even think twice about it.  I just processed the sight and walked ahead of him…the leg kinda smelled when you stood downwind.

The day before that I had a friend over.  This is the friend who has no problem telling me how my approach to keeping my house is, in their mind, incorrect.  Awhile back they were over and I was filling a bucket from my bathroom in my kitchen sink.  I was promptly scolded.  Items from the bathroom do not cross over into the kitchen.  Kitchen items do not go into the bathroom.  Who knew?  For example, you wash your kitchen towels in the kitchen sink not with the rest of the laundry.

Sothe day before yesterday remembering my previous “lesson” inhousekeeping when my friend was over and I decided to wash my kitchenfloor I did NOT take the bucket out to put my mopping water into.  I plugged up the kitchen sink and put my mopping water in there.  (Now my rationale is that I’m going to clean my sink after I mop the floor…  So I finish mopping the floor and start to let out the water when I hear my friend over my shoulder, “Gorata, did you put your mopping water into the sink where you put your dirty dishes?”  Well….yes.

Then came the explanation that mopping water is allowed to be emptied out in the bathroom.  And why would I even want my mop and my dishes to take up the same space (even though not at the same time….)?  I could only laugh…in my attempt to prove that I learned my lesson I find out that I’ve erred just as much this go around.  Sigh.  This is not uncommon.

Life in Botswana may be a lot of things but rarely is it without a story or two.

Without too much fan fare 2009 has exited and 2010 entered.

2009 marked a full year of life in Botswana. Like all years it contained a year full of ups and downs. Some really high ups and some rather low downs...but nothing that couldn't be handled. Looking back I have a list of things to proud of - helping to coordinate 2 huge HIV testing events, helping to start Teen Club, welcoming new Peace Corps volunteers, being a camp counselor at Camp Hope, being a pen-pal with a middle-school class in the U.S., painting murals, working with Peace Corps staff and volunteers to rewrite the Peace Corps Botswana project framework, and transferring skills to co-workers were some of the highlights.

For fun I went camping twice (which I had never really done), went to Kasane (where a lot of wildlife is), had and went to random parties with other volunteers and generally tried to keep myself entertained.

All that being said and done, in November I decided that it was time for a serious break. As much I tend to enjoy my experiences as a Peace Corps Volunteer - life became a little overwhelming and so my mom, being awesome, bought me a ticket home.

On December 23rd I found myself on a plane for the first time since getting on a plane in New York City to come to Botswana. After a quick flight from Gaborone to Johnannesburg, South Africa I embarked on a 16 hour flight from Johannesburg to Atlanta. I spent 3 amazing weeks back in the United States surrounded my family members and friends who showered me with even more love and support than when I am here. It was so emotionally satisfying. The thing you don't always think about with Peace Corps is just how lonely it can be here (and I'm not even that remote). You are often in the presence of other great volunteers, but no one knows you like the people back home ... and I miss that more than anything else.

3 weeks went by way too fast and I quickly found myself back on a plane to Africa. This is where I am now. I have a long layover in Johannesburg, South Africa and then it’s back to Botswana in the morning.

2010 in Botswana begins tomorrow. I have mixed feelings about it. On the plus side I am really grateful that my time left in service is limited. No doubt about it, given another chance, I would do it all again. It’s been a fabulous journey - but I am definitely ready for the next chapter - whatever that might be.

Being home reminded me that living overseas is an awesome, life changing experience - but being somewhere where my heart and soul are happy is crucial. Family and friends are crucial to the previously mentioned happiness.

I want to do my best to make my last few months here worth something (and to keep myself busy!). I have projects that need to be wrapped up, things to be packed up and plans to be made (though they will be tentative I'm sure.)

So here is to a new year. No doubt for me it will be filled with many more ups and downs, changes, laughter and love. I hope that you find what you are looking for in the new year as well.

Happy 2010.